Here We Go

Nope, not going anywhere in particular, unless you can say I'm literally falling into a pit of Holiday glitter, never to return. I am so frustrated with the holiday season, and I am sure you are all saying we are frustrated with your complaining so shut up already! Sorry, but it's my blog and I can cry if I want to.

Found out today that one of the assistants put in their 2 week notice. Yep, she's smart, leaving right before Thanksgiving. I've always dreamed of doing that, but never, ever pulled it off (yet, anyway). Know what that means????????? UGH, STRESSSSSSSSSSS worse than ever.

Nothing is finalized yet, but once again, my life will be turned upside down, along with every other employee. Yippee, I get to go back and do departments, but bet I don't lose my current job. Sure they are just gonna add it right on to the current list. I'm sure I'll never see any "retention bonus". That's another issue, because the company is now public, guess what is required for them to post for anyone with a search engine to see? That's right, the VP's "bonus" amount, which happened to fall after last year's restructure when people were being let go. On top of all of that, we know how many shares and dollar value each company "bigwig" was gifted. Some things are better not knowing. Do you think that made me happy? NOOOOO, wish my bonus was a 6 digit number, instead of the lousy 50 cent hourly wage increase some got (if they were lucky to get the top amount).

Signing off, pissed off...

Ted Nugent in South Dakota

Glad he stayed on the other side of the state. Click to find out what kind of trouble he got in, thanks to Badland Blue

http://badlandsblue.blogspot.com/2010/10/deer-poacher-ted-nugent-investigated-in.html

Room---Again

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I follow the New Dork Book Review. There is a current review of "Room" and it is so much better than my review. I wish I could review books like this.

http://thenewdorkreviewofbooks.blogspot.com/2010/10/room-human-kind-cannot-bear-very-much.html

Last Day

It is my final day of my final vacation of the year. I am lucky that after almost 20 years at the same workplace, I get 4 weeks of vacation a year. I try to take full weeks at a time, because they seem to help me get through the year. This last day is always the saddest for me, because it means I am soon entering the worst time of the year.

I get to look forward to the Holidays. I know many in my family love this time of year, and I did too, at some point in my life. Once you have worked retail, you will completely understand my feelings.

My entire year at work is spent with not enough time and too much to do, but at Christmas that increases many times over. Add in all of the other issues: crabby shoppers, increased phone calls, extra hours without overtime pay, needy employees, people calling in sick when they aren't sick, cold weather, electronics breaking down after being overworked, and I could keep going, but you didn't sign up to be bored with my grief.

I am pretty sure there is a secret pool the other associates conduct on when Kelly has her breakdown over the holidays. It can happen at any time for any reason, and I just don't have any control over it. It doesn't matter who is around when it happens, they get the wrath even if they don't deserve it. Usually the major one occurs only once between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can't help it, the pressure of everyone around you always needing something from you breaks me. I don't know what I can do to offset that problem. I know the best way is to remove myself from the need when I feel the pressure building, but unfortunately in my job I can't just leave for some quiet time when I want to. Can you imagine me yelling out to the 10 people in my line I have to go, they are out of luck, because I am ready to lose my cool? How would you feel if you were waiting in that line? I can bet that every person waiting would be thinking "how dare she, I NEED her to help me because I NEED to buy this." See, the need is always there.

I try to get it to go away when I'm at home, but there is only so much venting and talking I can do with anyone. For some reason, I just need to blow my top. Exercising will not help, my job is already physical enough. I am so physically exhausted that my sleep is focused on refreshing my body, not my mind. Alchohol is not the answer, then I lose control of my body but my mind continues to spin.

I do appreciate my family during this season. I know they understand and try to help. I know they agree that I need to find a new job, but in today's economy, that is not going to happen. All I can do is wait it out, get through next January, and then mentally forget the problems until the end of next October, when the cycle begins again.

If I forget to say it later "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!".

Cap and Gown

Faith brought home her cap and gown order. Did you know that we have to BUY her cap and gown????? Is that not the most stupid thing you have ever heard of? Why doesn't the school simply set up a rental company to take care of that. Who, in there right mind, will want to keep their cap and gown. I just picture it as one more thing to store away.

You should see all of the stuff Jostens is trying to sell with the cap and gown. Of course, there is the standard "Senior 2011" sweatshirt, but don't forget the sweatpants, shorts, t-shirts, keyrings, bla, bla, bla... Yep, I will sure shell out 24.95 for some cheesy t-shirt, no problem on the 14.95 cheaply made keyring. Thanks, Jostens, for taking my money. After all, you have cornered the market. Is there any other company fighting for business to get you to lower your prices? It's like you know you are dealing with weepy 18 year old girls who are so emotional about leaving all of their buddies behind, and to show how much you care, we can purchase tacky stuff at unreasonable prices. (oh-don't forget the "souvenier" tassle so you don't have to ruin your actual tassle when you hang it on the rear view mirror of your car--which by the way I'm taking donations because Faith needs a car and I would like mine back please)

So begins the year of shelling out money. This order came right after the email from a parent sponsoring the Senior All-Nighter party. You remember, those parties at the school all night to keep the kids out of trouble at graduation time? Great idea, but I get to donate $100 the next parent/teacher conferences. THANK YOU Heather for saving us a ton of money on taking those Senior pictures. I know we just have to get them ordered, but after seeing the cost of announcements, I am so glad we are doing this party with Caleb and Faith together. The pictures will work out great to do our own announcements, and I have also seen some cute thank you postcards I thinking about for after.

Sigh, all of this on top of the stress of knowing my baby girl is getting older. Please forward any donations to my local bank. If you need the savings account info, you know how to email me. We would appreciate it if your donations would be in $20 increments.

Miracles

As my family knows, I sometimes wait until the season is done before watching the TV show, then I spend the entire day watching an entire year's worth of episodes. Because I'm on vacation, thought I would finish up Saving Grace.

I love this show, and am sad the season I'm watching will be the last. It is so raw and in your face, and constantly makes me think. For those that have never seen it, Holly Hunter plays Grace, a tough, hard-edged Oklahoma detective. She has alot of personal problems, starting with her drinking and her guilt over her sister's death. Her brother is a Catholic priest, and there are alot of religious symbols and references throughout the show, especially her personal angel, Earl.

The season opener I just watched had me thinking. The premise was that Grace was saved by a miracle of God. The characters bring up a very interesting point, that when a miracle occurs, bad things follow.

Is this true? I wonder if that happens. On some level, it makes sense. This world is a constant battle between opposites, such as good and evil, sunshine and rain, happiness and sadness. In order to balance the miracle, something bad has to happen if theory is correct. I wonder if I were to search any known miracles if we would find tragedy before or after. It just makes sense to me. After the 9/11 tragedy, we heard nothing but stories of miracles happening. Life just has to occur that way to offset the ups or downs we experience. I don't think it's a reason to go looking for that bad thing to happen right after a wonderful experience occurs, I just think we need to take the good with the bad so we can live our lives.

Reading Influences

http://thenewdorkreviewofbooks.blogspot.com/2010/10/should-art-be-separated-from-artist.html

I follow "The New Dork Review of Books" blog, and there was an interesting point brought up by the writer. Does the author/musician/artist's way of life influence if you should enjoy their work? Have you ever heard something about that particular person that ever caused you to stop and think you were no longer going to enjoy anything done by them because you were so offended by their actions? The blog brings up Roman Polanski. Has his revenue from his films decreased because he's not allowed to step foot in the country or be arrested for child molestation?

The question posed made me think. If I were to learn about an author's strange lifestyle, I don't think it would affect my decision to read their work. I don't purchase most of my books, they are borrowed, so it isn't a problem for me. I guess if I heard about a crime against a child, it might turn me off from checking out a book by them at the library, but I've never thought about it. Many of my favorite authors were brought to my attention because of the cover art. If it catches my attention, then I read the summary and go from there. For example: "The Lonely Polygamist" was definately an attention getter, just by the title alone.

The cover art/title isn't always a guarantee I will like the story. There are many times I put down a book after reading so much of it, although I don't follow any such rules as "50 pages" limits to give it a chance. I know some people give it time, and say they will try to read so many pages before putting it down, but I just know when it's time to end it.

The blog points out that Hemmingway, for example, was not a person you would want to know, yet every high school in America has him on their reading list. Hitler's autobiography is always on a "must read" list somewhere, and we all know what he did. (I will admit I have that on my list to read, but only from a historical standpoint, I really want to know how his mind worked) Are you influenced by the author's lifetime acheivements beyond their written word, or do you read them because you enjoy them? Maya Angelou is a great person to talk about, she has achieved much more in her life than I can ever imagine doing, but I really can't read her stuff, it just doesn't interest me.

I think it's great we live in a world today where I can go to my local library and get just about any type of reading material I would like to see whenever I want. I could never live someplace like China with all of the restrictions to the outside world (which I think it is terrible about the guy who won that peace award and probably doesn't even know because he is a political prisoner in his own country). Not all humans are perfect, and we can't just assume because they make one mistake that no matter what they do we should just ignore them. I know that one of my favorite authors, Jeffrey Archer, has been in prison for some reason in England, but I've never searched to find out why. I just know I enjoy his books.

Does anybody else refuse to read something or listen to music done by an artist who has committed a terrible crime? Or do you even care to find out about their personal life?

Lazy Days

It's Wednesday, the 5th day of my vacation and I've done nothing but lay around. I did do dishes the other night and clean the kitchen a little, but the entire place needs a fall cleaning, and I just don't have the energy to do it. I slept in until 9:30 this morning and now enjoying my third cup of coffee and messing around on the computer. I need some energy people!

My Car????

I am up super early on my vacation because I was craving a Starbucks. It's been only since last Saturday since my last, but I had a free one I had to use, so off I went. This post is not about my love for Starbucks, which you all know, but the fact that I had to get up so early.

I had to get up early so I had a car to use. I know it's my car, and I should be able to use it whenever I want, but I also have a teen who lives with me who doesn't have a car and has open campus for lunch. Oh the horror if she has to stay at school during open campus! She has many friends who also have open campus, but she has a study hall after, so hers is longer than theirs, which is why she NEEDS the car.

She does come home after lunch so I can drive her back to school and have the car until the end of the day, but still, the thought of sitting at home without a car is very frustrating. Not that I need it for anything, I would just sit at home anyway. If I did go somewhere, it wouldn't be until later in the day, which is after her lunch period. I sit at work on my lunch hour because I don't have a car to go anywhere, so why can't she? Faith gets up on my work days and drives me in (whether it's 5 a.m. or 6) so I don't have to leave work to take her to school, so it works out that way. She's also done at 4 p.m. and able to pick me up after. It still sucks!! My lunch hour used to be my mental break, now it's in the breakroom listening to everyone else's problems. I sacrifice, so why shouldn't she? Because I am the Mom and love her. Oh well, guess I just stay home today. Not like I had any plans.

My Favorite Coffee Cup

I have a new favorite coffee cup. Of course it is a Snoopy one, and the most recent in a long line of favorites. Strange how we love certain things more than others that we use daily. I actually smile a little when my favorite cup is clean and I can use it that morning.

In college it was a cup given to me by a friend at our high school graduation. It is long gone, but said something about needing to relax a little, which just tells you that I was a tad uptight sometimes.

When living in Des Moines, I had a free coffee mug that I had received from the local Catholic Church. I liked it because it was the perfect size and weight, not because of where it came from. Lost that mug when my ex thought it was funny to break it because he knew how much I liked it. Not a big deal, it was just one of his many ways to try to break me. Little did he know I found one the same weight and size at the local dollar store.

That purple dollar store mug is still in the cupboard, and I still enjoy using it, along with some free green mugs from some giveaway Mom and Dad had received. They are now my back up coffee cups when my new favorite is dirty. I love it, for many reasons, but the best is because Faith bought it for me just because she wanted to get it for me. I also love the saying "Tomorrow I start with a clean blanket". It just reminds me that we all need to start fresh the next day, no matter how bad the current day is. The mug always puts a smile on my face:)

I Am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

I bet the title grabbed your attention, like it did mine. This nonfiction was based on Nujood's life, and young girl who was born in Yemen, right across the border from Saudi Arabia. Her life was spent listening to whatever her father and older brothers told her to do, including get married.

It is amazing that this young girl chose to stand up for her rights and be free to become a child again. But it is even more amazing that it is a girl standing up for her rights in a country that doesn't believe women should talk at all. Her mother doesn't stand up for her rights, and in fact we discover her older sister is in jail for committing adultery with another sister's husband.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Mom, I am so glad I get to spend time with you on your birthday. We sometimes take for granted that we have close family members around, and we need to realize that each day spent with each other should be cherished.

You are always there for me when I just need someone to cry to, laugh with, or even vent to, because you listen and don't judge me (unless I need a good slap across the back of the head). I appreciate the time you spent showing me the way to becoming an adult, and for sticking around to be my best friend. I love how we can just sit down and talk about whatever comes to mind: books, movies, TV shows, problems at work, and more. It is great to bounce ideas around with you, and I always feel like I get my answers I need to take home with me. When I am down, it's like you know and your phone call makes me feel so much better. Thanks Mom, for everything. I love you:)

Broken

This novel took two of the authors previous characters from two different story lines and brought them together in a great book. The first character is a strong female lead who is recently widowed, trying to put her life back together. The second is a man who is struggling to hide his problems while trying to solve everyone else's. I was completely suprised at the end when I did not guess it! If you like murder/thrillers, Karin Slaughter is a great choice!

Ape House

Sara Gruen takes the lives of animals and creates beautiful stories, and Ape House was no exception. I liked this story more than her last, Water for Elephants. I feel like it was a nonfiction book, the apes were so real and I'm sure there is some reality TV creator trying to think how he can get around animal rights laws to actually do what happens in the story.

I know she was trying to let the world know that animal rights are very important and that it is so amazing that apes can communicate with humans as well as they do, but I feel that the actual story was to expose the way reality TV has debased life as we know it. Anyone will do anything for their 15 minutes of fame and a big pile of money, and it is so sad that they will toss anyone aside to get to their goal. I love some reality shows, but there are some out there that need to be outlawed. I don't care what some Jersey punks are doing to get their kicks, or how some guy living in his parent's basement is waiting for the perfect girl (who his mom chooses) to come along. Yes, some are informative and life changing, but can we please be more selective?

Fragile

I discovered Lisa Unger when I read a summary of one of her first novels, and was hooked. Now she is on my list to watch for new publications, and was excited when I discovered this one being released. The description was exactly what I love to read: family angst, mystery, history of a small town.

It started out good, and at first I thought I had it all figured out. My assumption really had the book dragging along, because I wanted it to end quickly to prove I was right. I wasn't and I spoiled it for myself, sure I would have enjoyed it more if I didn't do things like that.

I loved the fact she based it in a small town, and felt comfortable with the surroundings. The only thing I think could have been left out was a storyline of a guy doing pest control. I know he had some important clues to the mystery, but almost felt we could have gotten to the same end results by having the main characters figure things out themselves. At the end the author even includes how the pest control guy turned his life around, and you know what? I didn't really care how he ended up.

Happy Anniverary Charlie Brown

Yes, that's right, today is the 60th Anniversary of the first Peanuts comic strip being published. I won't spend time here explaining that I LOVE Snoopy and the gang, everyone already knows that. Just want to send out a little tribute! Thank you, Charles Schulz, for creating something wonderful!

October

Yeah it's October! Time for cooler weather, color changing leaves, cozy sweatshirts and Lucy getting warm by burrowing under the covers.

Booo it's October! Halloween merchandise almost gone and the month's not even started yet. Bigger and more shipments of Christmas crap every week. Black Friday is just around the corner.

Guess ya gotta take the good with the bad:)