September 11th

Today is always a hard day for me personally. I don't have any direct connection to the terrible tragedy that happened today, but my heart breaks just remembering.

Nine years ago today, I was taking vacation time from work. I had just finished a difficult time, divorcing and ending my 7 year marriage, trying to deal with doing it all on my own (with my family backing me 100% of course). Faith was dropped off at school, and I was in the attic, trying to clean up the toys because it was the playroom. Kristen called, asking me if I knew what was going on, and that I needed to watch the news. The rest of the day was spent in front of the TV, horrified by what was being reported.

I still cry seeing the tape of those towers being hit, then falling. I can't stand to hear any of the recorded 911 calls from anyone, it just tears me up inside. To this day I cry, and am tearing up now just trying to write this post. It is hard to believe it is already 9 years ago that it happened. I remembered the subdued feeling as we all tried to get on with our life. It was quiet no matter where you were, no one was laughing or making any noise in the grocery store, at the gas station, or even the dentist offices. I had a teeth cleaning that week and spent the entire hour watching reports that came in on the TV above the chair. Why did it have to happen?

We are still at war. I know that the President said it is ending. But will it ever end? I hope the terrorists will not win, but right now it is so hard to say. We are a scared nation. Everything we do we wonder who was behind it. I'm sure someone will try to connect that terrible gas explosion that just happened in a California neighborhood to some terrorist. How many times do you go through security at the airports and just wonder that you are having to stand in line forever because the terrorist took that right of safety from you? I'm scared.

We are reminded every day. Recently the topic in one of Faith's classes was about the group wanting to build a mosque near the original site of the towers. How can hate overtake us like this? How can I, as one person living in the middle of this country without any political background, change this ideal for the better? I hope that preacher is all hot air and doesn't go through with his plan for Koran burning. Did no one learn from the lesson taught to us by history? This is a day where we can all say "God Bless America" and mean it, no matter who your God is, we need spiritual help to get through this together.